Tuesday, December 15, 2009

President Kieschnick Announces Extension of 2010 Convention

This just in from a frequent Stand Firm reader:

Citing “the huge amount of confusion and misunderstandings about the recommendations of the Blue Ribbon Task Force on Synod Structure and Governance,” President Gerald Kieschnick announced today that the 2010 Synodical Convention will be extended by 10 days. “We need much more time to consider the Task Force’s recommendations,” Kieschnick said, “and 12 days ought to do it.” The entire additional cost will be borne by congregations with membership over 1,000, Kieschnick added. “They hope to get more delegates in future conventions, and we thought it only fair that they should up the ante in return.” Rev. Charles Mueller, Jr. of Trinity, Roselle, Illinois, one of the LCMS’ bigger congregations said, “It ain’t fair. We wuz robbed.” The original schedule called for two days to consider the Task Force’s proposals, however, it became apparent after “gatherings” in Denver and Dearborn that two days would be far too little time. Citing a particularly hostile atmosphere in Dearborn, Kieschnick said, “We didn’t like it, but we heard them loud and clear.” When told that several district presidents violently opposed this move, Kieschnick said, “They can take it through the dispute resolution process.” (That process, adopted by the 2004 Convention, takes about eight years to complete.) The convention will begin as originally scheduled on July 10, and will be extended to July 27.

Johannes Bach-Atyu, a descendent of J.S. Bach, has penned a “carol” describing this 12 day structure component of the upcoming convention. CPH and Augsburg-Fortress have declined to publish it, so he has decided to place it in the public domain.

THE TWELVE DAYS OF STRUCTURE

On the first day of structure, the Task Force gave to me, More Pow’r to the Pres-i-den-cy.

On the second day of Structure, the Task Force gave to me, Two Mission Commissions, and More Pow’r to the Pres-i-den-cy.

On the third day of Structure, the Task Force gave to me, Constitution meddling, two mission commissions, and More Pow’r to the Pres-i-den-cy.

On the fourth day of Structure, the Task Force gave to me, Four-year convention cycles, constitution meddling, two mission commissions, and more Pow’r to the Pres-i-den-cy.

On the fifth day of Structure, the Task Force gave to me, "Five Districts New", four-year convention cycles, constitution meddling, two mission commissions, and more Pow’r to the Pres-i-den-cy.

On the sixth day of Structure, the Task Force gave to me—Six hundred delegates (more or less) a-voting, "Five Districts New", four-year convention cycles, constitution meddling, two mission commissions, and more Pow’r to the Pres-i-den-cy.

On the seventh day of Structure, the Task Force gave to me, Seven hundred by-laws a-changin’, Six hundred delegates (more or less) a-voting, "Five Districts New", four-year convention cycles, constitution meddling, two mission commissions, and more Pow’r to the Pres-i-den-cy.

On the eighth day of Structure, the Task Force gave to me, V-P Mates A-Running, Seven hundred by-laws a-changin’, Six hundred delegates (more or less) a-voting, "Five Districts New", four-year convention cycles, constitution meddling, two mission commissions, and more Pow’r to the Pres-i-den-cy.

On the ninth day of Structure, the Task Force gave to me, Board-Appointed Members, V-P Mates A-Running, Seven hundred by-laws a-changin’, Six hundred delegates (more or less) a-voting, "Five Districts New", four-year convention cycles, constitution meddling, two mission commissions, and more Pow’r to the Pres-i-den-cy.

On the tenth day of Structure, The Task Force gave to me, E-fish-un-cee, Board-Appointed Members, V-P Mates A-Running, Seven hundred by-laws a-changin’, Six hundred delegates (more or less) a-voting, "Five Districts New", four-year convention cycles, constitution meddling, two mission commissions, and more Pow’r to the Pres-i-den-cy.

On the eleventh day of Structure, the Task Force gave to me, “E-fec-tive-ness”, E-fish-un-cee, Board-Appointed Members, V-P Mates A-Running, Seven hundred by-laws a-changin’, Six hundred delegates (more or less) a-voting, "Five Districts New", four-year convention cycles, constitution meddling, two mission commissions, and more Pow’r to the Pres-i-den-cy.

On the twelfth day of Structure, the Task Force gave to me, No Budget Savings, "E-fec-tive-ness," E-fish-un-cee, Board-Appointed Members, V-P Mates A-Running, Seven hundred by-laws a-changin’, Six hundred delegates (more or less) a-voting, "Five Districts New", four-year convention cycles, constitution meddling, two mission commissions, and more Pow’r to the Pres-i-den-cy.


photo credit: Leo Reynolds

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Stop the madness!

Matt Harrison for president!